so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
