ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
The power of my boobs compel you
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize