Dual....:-)
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
