so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize