just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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