Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
