Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
