OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize