Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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