now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
