don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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