i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
