Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
