I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
