you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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