Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
