worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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