how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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