Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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