why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
