I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
