this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
