one two three fourrrrnication!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize