Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
