I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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