the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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