Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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