hotel room ftw
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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