drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
