so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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