Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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