i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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