Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
