she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
