we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
