Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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