dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
