I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
