i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
