Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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