I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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