Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
