Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
