eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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