ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
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this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
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And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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