I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize