Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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