Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
