After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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