This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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