I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
