Porn is love you can see.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
