she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
