I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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