I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
