Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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