I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Text me some of your sweat
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
