The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
