she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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