ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
